Saturday, December 9, 2017

on time and waiting.

let me tell you something about her, and time and waiting.
she was good at waiting, patiently, on not letting the time consumed her feelings.
it was way back, when she was small, she was raised up, to wait, for everything.
let me make it short, the least on scale 0 of  it-was-not-the-worst.
there was one time, nobody was there that she could call for help, she was 13 years old, a young girl trying to adult herself in living life even though all she wanted was for people to treat her as a baby girl, spoiled brat. Of course it was just her dream.She called this person to come and fetch her, and I think that person was busy and asked her to wait, half an hour was the promise. But being her, she knew, it was longer. So there she was, waiting. Hot, sweating, hungry and above all, scared. 11.00 a.m turned to 11.30 a.m, turned to 1 p.m, to 2 p.m, and next hours. She was there,sitting patiently by the side of a busy road and maybe some little very short crying. By almost 7.00 p.m, at last someone was there to get her. Tadaa, happy ending.

So, she is growing up with a mind of don't let others wait for you. She tries her very best, to not let anybody she promised to wait. She tries to make everyone feels important, to set aside their worries, to let them know, she will always there for them if they need her. Anytime.

and the reason why she can get a little crazy (which not that crazy, just some tears coming down and emotions ride on the roller coaster for 15 minutes the longest, shorter if you make a joke about it, she is not that serious).

An hour late could do damage to the smallest part of her heart when earlier you said otherwise, without any solid reasons can make her cry. Damn just like that. I'm confused too. But, for that to happen so many times, you can make her heart break.

Today, her heart broke, she thought she is an important part to others too, but well you guess right, who give a damn. So, she said the only thing she always said, it's okay, and move on. Time will not always be bitter.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

my feelings are all over the place.
what is it, this heavy heart?
i want to believe this is the right decision,
i just want to make  my mom happy.

aku nak ada dengan dia saat-saat usia tua dia,
to make her the happiest person.
i can't be selfish , right?

dunia boleh dicari kemudian.

Friday, December 1, 2017

long distance relationship.

i am not sure about this. i can't say much about what distance will do to me, to him, to us.
maybe this is a good thing, maybe this too can be a bad one. all i can do is hope, and try.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

New everything is awaiting me on 1 January 2018. Hope Allah will ease everything for me. It's hard, but Allah is with me, so I don't need to be afraid of anything, right? May I be the strongest girl in whatever wave I'll be thrown into. Always remember, to seek Him not only in sadness and miserable, but in easy time and happiness too. New everything and new me. This time, it is on me, change and be better or stay the same and regret who I am in the future.

I can do this. I know I can, it might take the longest time for me to do everything, to change, to adapt, to accept, to welcome things with open heart, but I will be just fine at the end of the day.

You got this, brave girl.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

hujung-hujung tahun ni kerja melambak sampai tak tau mana satu nak buat dlu. kalau tangan ad soploh mesti cepat siap. could you imagine we, hooman, be like an octupus? nah sehari settle semua, tapi kalau malas datang, tak siap juga kau jadi octopus pun.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

i know i said this so many times before,each year.but i hope 2018 will be here fast.
can't wait to end 2017,leave every bad moments and start fresh.have a list of things i want to do, personal achievement i want to unlock.and one of them might cost me fortune.
May Allah ease everything.


Thursday, August 10, 2017

benda nak besok.
tiba2 lappy buat hal.
cantik timing.
aku tak rasa nak hidup dah hari ni.