pernah keliru dengan apa yang kita rasa?

today i was happy, as i managed to settle almost everything in the list. so many redundant unnecessary stupid where on hell these come from-workloads.
but at the same time, how i wish, i'm not doing this for the rest of my life.
that waking up every morning to something i hate almost had me dying each time but i need to snap myself, and remind myself over and over again. this is it. have it. own it.work it.

to those who this might concern, especially the young ones.
do what you love. do your dream.
i promise you, you won't live in hell.

but i'm grateful. so much i don't know how to describe it.
to have a job. to be able to pay the bills. to buy things. to give back to my parent.
but something;
something is missing.

checked: 3 out of 10 things need to be done.
i'm just few seconds from being crazy.

tinggal sehari cuti.
kija melambak.
yang kija bertangguh satu hal nak settle.
yang baru minta satu hal nak settle.
yang tah tiba2 dari langit mana turun satu hal.

konklusi:
yang bertangguh tu kalau buat awal tak la rasa seksa sangat now nak kena siap 2 3 4 5 jenis kerja.

padan muka sendiri.

on; young love.

(found this in my draft from last year? looking back of how i feel?)

falling in love is easy. have you heard this?
i think it is.
it's like the first sight of the blue ocean upon waking up during vacation, that feeling when you see the roses bloom in front you for the first time, or maybe that anxiety you feel on your first plane ride. the beginning is my favourite part, everything is made of laugh, smile, knowing and unknowing, and dreams, lots of them.

but, being young, having the world against you, love too could be suffocating enough you cry all night before sleep. having both of you trying to cope with everyday-struggle, trying to catch up with  the dream, trying to make deals, trying to prove people, and in those trying, hoping love would be there to sooth thing out, to show, everything would be okay at the end, that at the end: love doesn't happen as you think, here come another plate of trying you need to make, trying to deal with yourself, love matters above all of its lacking, love matter..love matter..love matter.. you are chanting it.

one day, if you were to meet someone who understand, who will be there even before you drop the first tear, who will be there even before you fall, who knows the deepest sorrow part of yours, keep that person close, it's hard to find one nowadays.

*sigh

it's not too late right?
Selamat Berpuasa semua.